Real Fake News: The Day in Trump

Donald Trump forgot he was president today in informal interactions with the press and others at the White House. He lambasted his own administration for its leaderless incompetence and wondered what it had come to when the head of the free world can't find his ass with both hands and has to defer to bickering hacks and subordinates to put out contradictory, illegal executive orders and incomprehensible press.

He also grabbed a young female visitor "by the pussy" and then told the Secret Service to "dispose of her" but issued a reprieve and had her kneel and kiss his ring but then he said the pope was a faggot who was out to destroy him. He also said that Melania was a closeted Catholic and that he had suddenly realized that Jews and Catholics were in control of his administration and were poisoning him. He ordered a test of all his food.

When Bannon and Miller appeared he wept and begged for mercy. He said that he was having a bad day because he wasn't "getting any" and asked them to get him some but no Catholics or Hebes, please. Just get him some bland, Protestant pussy and a nice lunch but make sure it was tested first and not by them. He thought he had encountered a Russian in the hallway, by the way, because he "talked funny" and ordered it investigated.

Donald, real fake news is when you actually make stuff up, not when someone says something you don't like or deigns to criticize you. Fake news looks a lot like the rubbish you put out. Have a nice news day!