I want to secede . . .

I mean, not really. 

I'm as American as buying shit which I love to do but when you find yourself fantasizing about a long-term suicide pact with a group of friends who understand the track we're on the way I do (as a fucking suicide pact but one being enforced on us) maybe it's time to evaluate.

I've been here before. I'll be here again. Feeling helpless and threatened and vulnerable and indignant and frustrated and wanting to get past it and succeeding a lot of the time but so incredibly tired of being in a society ruled by assholes, It's so wearing. How to deal? I have no answers. 

But alone is not the way. And I do virtual. I read. I write. Just knowing there are people out there who, though our voices have been disempowered, think like me means something to me. It's a communion to me. A communion of the caring. A congregation of decency. And I love that. 

But I so want to get away from the crazies.