Saturday, December 24, 2016

Yo' Mamacare

Donald Trump and Paul Ryan's first foray into legislative cooperation is expected to be the longed-for and long awaited replacement of Obamacare with their cost-saving, streamlined and highly effective alternative, Yo' Mamacare.

They will hire 30 or 40 experienced, out-of-work customer service professionals of the surly and thick-skinned variety, thereby reducing unemployment, and obliterate the entire existing Obamacare infrastructure and lay off all those foot-dragging administrators and workers who have been mercilessly sucking off the nanny-state. Any American in need of health insurance or with other concerns, such as heart attacks, strokes or gunshot wounds, can dial 1-800-yo'mama during normal business hours and be connected with one of those newly-hired operators or placed on hold.

Callers will be reassured with utterances and exclamations of "yo' mama" for as long as they want and referred to the nearest emergency room and encouraged to get off their fat and lazy asses and get help and then return to work as quickly as possible and quit sucking off the government. Ryan and Trump will retain their own excellent existing health insurance in order to avoid any conflicts of interest though they say they wish they could sign up or at least call, since there's no real plan to sign up for, but they know the service will be great and beautiful and the envy of the world.

No comments:

Post a Comment