No Witnesses

Nobody wants to screw up, by their own standards, but the witnessing is worse than the mess-up itself. Think of how much easier it is to move on if there are no witnesses. 

I remember my entire adolescence with shame. I felt like a ball put into play in the wrong place, utterly passive and wondering when it would end, the game or my role in it.

Individualism has its limits. The fight for individual rights arose in a context of oppressive social structures but humane structures are necessary to guarantee personal freedom.

Compassionate societies allow people to grow and develop with the humiliations worked through and left behind but too much or too little accountability causes problems. 

My long unpracticed Catholicism comes to mind. Confession, the sacrament, for all of its strangeness embodies the balance. You acknowledge your failings and then move on.

You move on with the intention of doing better. Admitting the failing is critical but so is getting past it. If God is willing to forgive us who are we not to forgive ourselves.