For Immediate Release: The American President, Barack Obama, is vacationing again in Hawaii, where it is said that he continues to look for his balls, having left them there in adolescence. They are not exactly coconuts, by all reports, and have proved to be hard to find. May you finally find them, sir.
It's too late to do the country any good, but maybe you will write a book on your epic failure with what you learn after reacquaintance with your manhood. Or, if your nuts continue to elude you, testosterone injections may be the thing, coupled with assertiveness training. I'm curious, though.
Why did you ever run for president? You have been a disgrace.
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