I want to thank Republican evangelicals for bringing so many people closer to God. By dying, for example, people presumably come closer to God. Also the heathen, if they suffer enough, might be induced to repent and in that way draw closer to God. So, death and suffering are good -- for non-evangelicals.
Evangelicals, already being saved, don't need the benefits of death and suffering. In fact, they don't even have to behave since their salvation is already assured and is persevering. Evangelicals have been great at causing suffering and getting people killed. So, thanks for all that, though I'd like to say it's a bit presumptuous.
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