Just Say These Words

No doubt Democratic congressmen are walking the streets of the capital silent and stupefied at the prospect of the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse of the new Republican majorities. A Zombie Apocalypse typified by the RYAN BUDGET, a thing fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of its creator, whosoever that may be.

You can't kill the budget because it is already dead. Get over that. The same is true of the whole Republican wish list of insanity. So, here it is on a fucking plate, you Democratic congressmen, the thing to do in the face of the zombie onslaught. Say these three things and keep saying them, until I tell you to stop, if ever:

1. THE REPUBLICANS CREATED THE DEFICITS
2. THE REPUBLICANS SENT YOUR JOBS TO CHINA
3. THE REPUBLICANS CAUSED THE RECESSION

If you should be pressed by someone you may add a little background, which I bet you don't understand or you would have been saying these things already, so stick to the script.

The deficits were created by cutting taxes and raising spending on defense and other crazy, wasteful stuff. Your jobs went to China because corporations want cheap labor and Republicans give corporations whatever they want. The economic collapse was caused by Republican-engineered deregulation, a la ENRON.

Again, you don't need to understand any of this. It's too late to do any good, according to my non-creationist, economist sources living in exile. But someday, when they examine the corpse of our country, it may help to determine the cause of death if this stuff is on the record.