How Many Fifths

Let's say that Sheldon Adelson is a man. I know he doesn't look like one but bear with me. Then how many fifths of a man am I, politically? A fifth of a fifth? No way. I'm less than that. Sheldon is a man's man, politically. But I won't stipulate to less than a twenty-fifth. It would mess with my mojo.

Not to complain, but isn't that illegal? And I'm a white guy. Maybe I'm collateral damage here, but the folks who put the money in politics won't say what they want, exactly, so it's hard to figure out. We could just give it to them and then they might leave us alone, and I could get my franchise back.

What if they want the country for themselves? Oh, I bet that's it. Disenfranchisement is the goal. Then they can do what they want, on the fly. If they control the system then the battles are all won before they're fought, and they don't have to worry anymore, and I would have to worry a lot.

Because I'm no Sheldon Adelson, politically. I bet I can take his ass in a fight, though. Where does he live? All over the place, you say? Trying to steer clear of me, no doubt. I'll kick his butt. Then I'll wind up in jail, probably a privatized one, the owners of which will give money to the same causes as Sheldon.

Man, I'm having trouble figuring this one out. Makes you feel kind of impotent. Bad choice of words, there, I say to the women in the audience, but you know what I mean. Hey, maybe Sheldon will give me a job, sweeping floors in the casinos. Sorry, Sheldon, I didn't mean to be so hard on you. Have a nice day, dickwad.