I feel like I live in the present and the future at the same time, because the future seems badly determined, predictable and unavoidable. Suffering awaits us. I understand better now why people sometimes roll the dice when things aren't that bad.
Or anesthetize themselves in one of the usual ways. Because they feel the future is not good. That they're almost certainly fucked and the suspense is worse than anything. Worse than getting fucked now but while doing something. Anything.
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