Kidnapped!

Brothers, I believe that I was kidnapped by Reaganites. They seemed to think they were doing me a favor, that I was some savage in need of culture, economic opportunity, religious and moral guidance and maybe a bath. You would think I was an obvious aborigine -- hairy, illiterate and unrefined. 

Damn, I was an American! An American citizen going back generations. You couldn't make this shit up. And they seemed to think they were Americans, but of a type unfamiliar to me. They would have been thought primeval by the Founding Fathers, I mean. These Reaganites were the savages.

Though they dressed okay. Better than I did, really, like fucking Mormons, or whatever they're calling themselves now as if that isn't its own kind of woke. Anyway, they were kind of naive and paternal but you didn't want to cross them, especially on economic issues. They were nuts about that.

Some kind of aborigines themselves, of a free market variety, just insane about it. You couldn't talk to them on the topic. They engaged in obvious magical thinking, going on all the time about self-regulation and an 'invisible hand' as though the invisible part shouldn't have clued them in. But, no. 

They were too far gone. Total cultists. I tell you this, friends, so that you can be on the lookout, though it seems they might have taken over the country and supplanted lawful authority. To judge from the stuff that's on the radio, anyway, the most unbelievable lies. And ditto on some news channel. 

To which they are addicted. It's on all the damn time. It will drive you nuts, though they do have some babes on there, some with oddly unchristian names and attitudes to match. The shit will drive you out of your mind and threaten your sanity and equilibrium, it's so heavy on the fear. They’re scared as shit.

Over an invasion, completely ... made ... up. 

Mexicans, Mexicans, Mexicans. And there's Mexicans everywhere already in the trades and living openly and as though the Reaganites never eat and enjoy a burrito. They love them and know the whole takeout vocabulary down to stuff I've never eaten. Watch out for them, brethren. They're out of their minds. 

And, please, come and get me out of here.