Pre-Conception

Ruling ex cathedra and clad in the cloaks of originalism, or constitutional literalism, the Catholic branch of the Supreme Court of the United States has issued pro-death (to the post-born) and anti-death (to the pre-born) rulings nearly simultaneously, clearing up questions of guilt that have long troubled the Church--I mean, country--to the effect that the pre-born are assumed to be innocent and the already- or post-born guilty because of original sin and general nastiness. But what about pre-conception? 

Isn't that the holiest state, being totally incorporeal and free of the imperfections of creation? This difficult question is still to be addressed. And it should, in a further ruling detailing how God, or his Heirs and Assigns, must know, before implantation in the womb at the time of fertilization, the suspect's salvation status. This is according to the dictates of John Calvin and the Swiss watchmakers he admired and imitated in constructing his ethics of temporal perfection. Imperfection is anathema! 

Pre-conception is therefore the final standard and point of comparison. The Supreme Court has thus adopted preconception in their role of issuing moral rulings and opinions that must be assumed to be from God and therefore infallible, as a point of their investiture when faculties of divine judgment were instilled in them as seeds in the womb and fertilized by God as is evident in the kind and loving visage of Clarence Thomas, the conscience of the Court. As for guns, they love them. 

The male Supreme Court members are understandably sensitive about their fertilization since they are men and God is surely a man. Therefore they are coming down hard on homosexuality and gunning up the country to prove their masculinity. Creation is just such a horrible thing anyway. Why would God foster such imperfection? Are they themselves not imperfect? Only in their mortal bodies, let it be known. Otherwise they are exceptional, and guaranteed their salvation by God Himself. 

They are in that as pure as the preconceived, to which state they will return with gladdened hearts and slates completely cleared of sins, as God would have it since He is obviously on their side. Preconception applies not only to humans, in the form of their immortal souls, they would have you know, but also to what are commonly known as conceptions. Ideas and abstractions. These, such as justice, go back to God or they are meaningless, so, let's face it, God's rules trump constitutionalism by a mile.

Get that through your heads. Things are going to be run by God now. And they are his agents as certified by worldly favor and the tautological imperative, which is that everything that happens must have happened by the will of God and therefore have been inevitable, except for the bad shit which is due to the Devil but luckily the Devil only has truck with Democrats, as Republicans know by the powers of preconception. One can only hope all those guns are used agains Democrats. As God surely intended. 

But, remember this. Just as people are better preconceived, so are opinions. The Supreme Court makes no apology for this, as they are beginning to admit. Get over it.