Sinful Nature

Ivanka Trump and the White House have announced a line of aromatics, essences, colognes, perfumes, incenses, room deodorizers and vapes designed to help Americans get over their problems of despair at witnessing the dissolution of our society, the loss of its traditions and principles and the descent into madness. The line is called Sinful Nature.

An array of products has been engineered to produce feelings and attitudes of calm and compliance in the face of threats and instability. Ivanka has lived with this all her life, watching her father stumble from one misguided impulse to another, oblivious to the effect it has on his family. She has found that olfactory therapy helps her to survive. 

Visit the White House website for further information and to make purchases. The products have been tested on prisoners and detainees and, while not guaranteed to be safe, have helped participants in these trials withstand mental and physical abuse with greater serenity and grace. Their hideous cries were reduced to whimpers and groans.

Also, it made it easier for those applying the screws to continue with their work. Screaming and shrieks of anguish can hamper the most committed and hardened technician. They can't have that happening among the enforcers, a few of whom have been unreasonably affected recently by children weeping incessantly after being ripped from their parents. 

CALM DOWN, everyone. Enjoy an essence or a vape. It's probably not going to be okay but there's nothing you can do about it. All proceeds will be funneled through the Trump family's charity. Wait, that is being investigated. In any case, revenues are allocated to help build that beautiful, incredible, great and amazing WALL we have all been waiting for.