The Divine Orifice

For those Supreme Court Catholics I'm trying to figure out to whom they pray. Where is their devotion? The altar of Trump, like many of their ilk? And, then, at which orifice, the sacred words or the divine turds, which, having failed at bathroom training, Trump rains upon the world as he sputters along muttering insults as well. An amazing spectacle it is. 

Impulse Power

I think it's official. The United States is not only open for business and up for sale but there is no level of corruption or criminality that is a problem. More studious observers have known about this already. Previously a show of respect for standards and the pretense of resisting corruption and conflicts of interest were the norm.

The new norm is Jared Kushner, an incompetent rich kid in the great playground of life. Playgrounds are fenced off, remember. This is the change we have been warned about, where generational wealth will control everything and the world will be ruled by the whims and impulses of playboys, degenerates and clueless children.

Kushner's new homie is a Saudi prince who had a guy killed who pissed him off. No matter. Everything is cool. The national interest, meaning the personal benefit of Kushner and Mnuchin, was protected. There's a tribal war going on between their clans, Arabs and Jews, but money trumps everything when you come right down to it.

Take Me to the Riviera

I need to get away. Republican assholes are gearing up for another, maybe final, assault on our democracy. I don't want to witness it. There are too many of them. Even if we win we don't really win. We only forestall disaster because their determination and perseverance are exceptional. The assholes will have their way. 

The Hillsdale Truth and Record

This is the (satirical/spoof) official reportage and record of the Hillsdale College of Hillsdale, Michigan where we revere the truth above all else and the sayings and insults of Chairman Donald which we carry around in little books in our pockets. Such is our commitment that we explore minutiae of transgression like the appropriateness of pussy-grabbing on the Sabbath. Is this holy, we ask, in the right context and at the right time or less than holy so that should it be avoided on the Sabbath? 

We tell you this so you know how sincere we are. We are not splitting hairs but chopping wood and doing the hard work of trying to lead moral, Christian lives while emulating our inspiration and role model, Chairman Donald, whose accomplishments we respect beyond all measure what with all the money and righteous appointments to the Supreme Court such as fellow pussy-grabber traveler Bret Kavanaugh and then submissive cultist Amy Coney Barrett. What models of rectitude! 

Not the kind of rectitude Bret and Chairman Donald must have exhibited as part of their pussy-grabbing efforts, meaning they must have had a hard-on. Ha! We got you there, didn't we. That goes to show we have a sense of humor. We are far from up-tight. We intend to change the world and you can't do that if you can't relate to people and have a little fun. And nothing is more fun than making money, by the way, which we embrace as a part of our mission. What's wrong with money? 

In the hands of true Christians and followers of Chairman Donald it can only be holy and true. We mean to have influence in the establishment of a blessed, theocratic state, eventually to embrace the world, and that costs money. It's not our fault if some of you don't understand that you belong to Jesus and not yourselves but this is a common misconception that we can and will fix, not to put too fine a point on it. This is why any government not run on God's principles is illegitimate and invalid.

Don't worry about it. Think of Chick-fil-A. Everything will be like that, very tidy, but we'll be able to keep the gays in the closet again where they belong. 

'By the people and for the people.' Pshaw! It is 'by God and for God' or it is heretical and an insult to the Creator. Goodbye for now, but we will be back with more important news in the Truth and Record. And remember that God loves you if not as much as us and Chairman Donald and all his children since we are already saved and you might not be. Though, we will bring you around one way or another. God bless!

Ticket to Riot

What kind of a riot isn't somewhat spontaneous? You don't get a ticket to riot. You show up. You start raising hell. Whatever happens from there it is what it is. 

But somebody is issuing tickets to riot. So, the rioters are part of a larger plan. A plan of governmental overthrow engineered by Republicans and their oligarchic masters. 

Winner Fake All

Our winners are all fakes. Winning in a false system of rewards is always false itself. 

The Golden Ass

Trump deserves a picaresque novel about his wanderings, musings, efforts, and explorations of boundaries. He's just a boy with a dream and a huge inheritance finding his way in the world. So what if some people get killed or have their lives destroyed. It's all a part of the natural process of Trump trying to grow up. 

I Went to Waterboarding School

As an observer at a distance, mind you, but it's clearly the way to get at the truth of the Trump election debacle, to see if proponents of the stolen election theory believe their own bullshit.

And He Was

I want you to picture the Talking Heads song And She Was adapted for Trump. In it he rises above the world on gasbag principles of flotation. He cruises like a blimp or dirigible, scanning the lesser beings below him and emanating shits and farts which the lower beings must endure and clean up. The shit is raining down. He eventually crashes, to cries of 'oh, the humanity.'

Bringing Home the Bacon

Right-wing reactionaries have positioned themselves to impose their will on the rest of us. They are doing so now, having always known what they intended and would do but they keep up a shallow pretense of respecting the law. But they're there, on the Supreme Court for example, to bring home the bacon. It's facon, though, because they're just making stuff up. They know what they will do. Only the justifications and rationalizations are up for grabs. 

Lindsey, Thank You, Sir

Lindsey Graham has done it. And it had to be a Republican or it wouldn't have worked. No Democrat could get away with it. Lindsey suggested someone be assassinated. Vladimir Putin, if you want to know. 

But I have had such a long list. 

And Lindsey is on it. A list of people who should be assassinated. Who deserve to be assassinated. Who earned it. All Republicans. And, by any reasonable standard, they're much more worthy than Vlad. 

By any normal legal or ethical standard a bunch of Republicans deserve to be shot. 

Whig or Tory?

All Republican candidates for office should be required to declare if they are Whig or Tory. We know, from their fealty to candidate Trump, they are monarchists of one sort. But are they in favor of absolute or constitutional monarchy? The people have a right to know. 

The Devious Anna Delvey

Anna Delvey exposed how hollow the meritocracy is. And, how alike it is to revivalism. The 'chosen' choose themselves. They then market the idea it was innate qualities that enabled their conversion. It was God's will. It was necessary, inevitable and natural they should be on top. 

They are the winners. 

In other words, it's tautological. It has no meaning, a blind assertion of faith. Fatalism. The moral of the story: character matters. But not to them. Anna showed how little they have. Claim to have money and everything will come to you. There's a shortage of character among the meritocrats. 

But no shortage of money.

Whale Bait

Donald Trump won't stop. America needs a guarantee he can't be in a position again where he can get a lot of people killed. Because he'll do it if it suits him. He doesn't care.

How do we bait Herr Donald to get him in enough trouble to rule out another run at world power? He's resistant to most things, having plied the criminal trades for decades. 

I don't know. His whole thing is to ensure the rules don't apply to him. Flattery and servility most suit him. He needs admirers and wants them completely degraded. 

We probably have to work through that. 

Wee Tucker

Wee Tucker Carlson has been pronounced dead by soul authorities. This means the bodily form showing up for work at Fox to create more corpses, of the undead variety or otherwise, is a zombie. Immediately the question arises, if someone were to shoot Tucker in the head, would this be murder? I say obviously not, since he is already dead in the ways that make someone human.

Let me be clear. I am only asking the question. This is entirely hypothetical and a matter of conjecture. But I think it follows, as it would as well for Donald Trump, notably. Among some parties this is called the Magnussen Solution when a patriotic, pro-civilization and anti-crime figure removes a deadly menace from circulation. Is this not a good thing? Entirely hypothetically, I mean?

https://youtu.be/QynpNTdv1Ng

I am only asking the question. But if someone, day in and out, is getting lots of people killed (and getting rewarded while doing it) because they have hacked the system and pose a threat to everyone and they are already certified soul-dead by mental health and religious authorities is it not only permissible but a moral imperative to remove them from the population? Hypothetically? 

Putin Invades Ukraine in Triumph for Trump

Amazing. But this too, it appears, is all about Donald and the mythical stolen election.

Draft Dodger Expresses Admiration for Invasion

Draft-dodger, career criminal and incompetent buffoon Donald Trump is expressing admiration for Vladimir Putin's 'genius' move of spontaneously invading Ukraine, apparently thinking it is like a corporate takeover and ignoring that people are getting killed. But he was raised by his psycho father to be a killer so I guess it makes sense. 

Russians and Republicans Advance

Just as they did after 9/11 Republicans are using a deadly tragedy to advance their party's interests. There's no connection between international terrorism and tax cuts for the rich but that didn't stop them. The difference is they aren't in power now so they're using their friend and Trump homie Vladimir Putin's invasion of Ukraine to try to undermine Biden's presidency in another sterling show of character.

The Starr Report Retort

There they go again. Donald Trump whinging on about witches. Witch hunts, I guess. But he doesn't know what a real witch hunt looks like. Bill Clinton knows. 

I throw the Starr (witch hunt) investigation in their faces, created out of thin air by private, Mellon, money and unconnected to anything but a desire to get Clinton.

To kill Bill.  

Scheming Former President Advances Personal Interests

Donald Trump, whose only legislative achievement as president was a huge tax cut for the rich, is supporting oligarchy abroad as well by backing Vladimir Putin, whose side he has taken against the interests of average Russian citizens. 

Inventing Inventing Anna

Listen to the black people on this one. I don't know shit about Shonda Rhimes--I don't watch network TV--but the way this show shakes out it's a mighty black take. Anna might have been a lying sack of shit and a conwoman but black people know the whole country and its economic system are built on lies. 

Whatever else she is or isn't, by rich-ass white standards Anna is an amateur. America is the biggest con and scam and Ponzi scheme and whatever else you want to throw in the world has ever seen. It's imbedded in the system. It is the system. White people play at one casino and everyone else at another one.

Especially the rich. We play at the loser casino. They play at the can't-lose. 

Behold Bush and Trump, lottery winners out of the gate. Incorrigibly worthless, useless, unintelligent and clueless people. Highly destructive in fact. Electing them president is a galactic self-own. Inventing Anna has a corrective black attitude. The black people portrayed in it are the ones to listen to. 

Granting, I only watched it because of Julia Garner. She is riveting. Her Anna isn't only inscrutable she spreads bullshit around like . . . well, like American 'conservatives' or financial whizzes or Republicans. By the time they get done you doubt what's in front of your eyes and with good reason. 

Nothing makes any fucking sense. Money rains down here. But not there. Not only do I not deny there are gifted, workaholic and highly intelligent people making oodles in competitive environments, in NYC, for example, I know it's true. But many have the skills of poker players and contribute nothing. 

They contribute nothing. They inhabit a system that has evolved, prejudicially, for their (inconceivably outsized) remuneration and nothing else. Nothing else. Fucking nothing. The top layer of American society is a country club. We pay the bills and tend the greens and screen shit out of the pool.

Inventing Anna is about intelligibility. And America is unintelligible. That explains a lot. That explains everything. Why nothing can be explained. Because NONE OF IT MAKES ANY FUCKING SENSE. And trying to make sense out of it will make you crazy. 

Life is for Lying

Life is for living, Anna Delvey or whoever she was says somewhere in the middle of this huge program about her, but her life was for lying. And other people were mostly nothing to her. Means to ends. 

I remember seeing clips of Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump being questioned as part of some investigation in small rooms and wondered how anybody could not see what pieces of shit they were. 

Moneyed pieces of shit. And that's what matters, as people are pointing out about Delvey or whatever her name is. She complains about men failing up. But, if she were regarded fairly, as a man would be? 

We'd say she was a piece of shit. And she said she wasn't respected because she was young. But she was plenty old enough to understand what she was doing. No juvenile detention for her. Grown-ass jail.

What a piece of garbage.

Death to Those Who Disrespect Trump

We can see it clearly now. In the next Trump administration disrespect will be punished with death. Donald as much as said so in commenting on Hillary Clinton and her (made up) supposed attempts to hack Trump's campaign. A hack would have been, apart from inconsequential, little more than a minor slight in the (criminal) world of Trump. 

Maybe he's pissed because they didn't go nuts to try to defeat him, assuming he would sink himself, and THAT was the slight. The attack was so meager. It was so half-hearted. It was so lame and pathetic, especially considering it didn't happen. Nothing is more lame than that. In any case, next time around there will be no mercy. Even if the crime was made up. 

Royal Ass-Powderer Seeks Redemption (and Employment)

Mike Pence is looking for a job. He claims to be redeemed but there's a new lord in town, one Pence already abandoned the passé Christ for, and Pence has hurt His feelings. Trump will not be trifled with. Jesus can put up with whatever He wants. But not Trump. 

There's a Trucker Born Every Minute

Trump suckers are some of the worst. What's really terrible is sucker truckers. They'll block your roads and bridges for no reason. The Canadian truckers were respectful and restrained by American standards. The American ones will be armed with assault weapons and wear body armor. And there are more of every kind of idiot in America.

Trump Pronouns Must Be Capitalized!

In a new missive from Mar-a-Lago Trump has announced that all Pronouns referring to Him must be Capitalized. Those who do not accede will be punished by Death when He repairs to His rightful place as Lord and Master of the Universe. 

All are advised to err on the side of Caution in Capitalization because the Penalty is so severe and Herr Donald notoriously Fickle, Impatient and Unforgiving. I'm Capitalizing all modifiers, epithets and adjectives I apply to Trump trying not to get killed. 

And, throwing in some other stuff for effect. It is hard. One mistake and firing squad it is. Probably best not to write anything. No word yet on whether it applies to Ivanka and what's-his-ass Her incompetent husband. Remember, one mistake! 

Herr Donald will not be trifled with. Only he will reign supreme! Oh, no . . .

Don't Fear the Reefer

I haven't craved a weed high in a long time but the stupendous insanity of Trumpist America makes me wonder if it might not help . . .

Shadows of Meaning

A post-truth world is a bad enough thing. A world without meaning is madness.  

Enigma Variations

Think about how nice it can be not to have a conscience. No looking back or regrets. So, no guilt. No concerns about integrity or consistency. Instant forgetting. Making stuff up. Alternative facts.

If you understand that you understand Republicanism and how terrifying it is. 

The Workingman's Undead

I can see how working people support Republicans based on what they say they believe in. I can't see how they can continue to support them when it's all so obviously a lie. 

Republicans are really good at lying, though. They are vampires, secretive and cunning and deadly, and the zombie doctrines they create are incredibly hard to kill. 

A Posteriori

Republicans have a new standard of truth. Not from the horse's mouth but from Trump's ass. 

The Branch Floridians

Scanning the scene I used to see something recognizably political but now I see a cult. A good, old-fashioned, American apocalyptic cult. In this case not one predicting and expecting the end times and judgment day but a movement to bring it about. They accept a need for improvisation. Trump or DeSantis? Who cares as long as they get to see Jesus. Are they saved or damned?

Even on this all-important question it doesn't matter. They are that fatalistic. Because, whatever happens, it is God's will by definition, de facto and a priori. They are happy to play whatever role as long as the world ends. That means Jesus returns as he said he would and they are impatient to see him. Whatever the terms. They despise creation that much. They hate it. They think the flesh is a mess. 

The Third Crucifixion of Christ

For those who lost track, the second was Charles Manson. The third is Donald Trump. 

Overton Window Officially Explodes

With Trump's latest tirade supporting and encouraging criminal behavior the Overton Window has officially exploded. There are no limits to acceptable political speech when a former president can encourage violent partisan criminality. 

Helter Skelter

Is there a psychic link between Donald Trump and whatever demons occupied Charles Manson? Trump's latest incitement to violence, not for the first time, had a strong appeal to racism. I think we have to assume the same demons are at work or the same mental illness. Whatever, but there's a common element of starting a race war and doing it by manipulating other people into creating murderous chaos. 

CSI: The White House

Clearly, Donald Trump thinks putting on a show and TV has something to do with work and having a job. Which is to say, he doesn't know what work is. Maybe, then, when we hit the phase of investigating and jailing him through the Department of Justice, which he also tried to corrupt by the way, it should be done in the form of a TV show, CSI: The White House.

Perhaps that way it will register. The guy is awfully obtuse so I'm not assuming anything but I think it's our best shot.

Sapped

America is the land of saps. The easily deluded. The country is sapped because saps have taken over. What they lack in sense they more than make up for in drive.

Same as it Never Was

Maybe something good can come out of America's flirtation with fascism. The realization there's nothing to go back to. We were never the people we thought we were. 

They Lied in the Bible

Either that, or it was a very clever use of the future when they say the meek will inherit the earth. It's always in the future. Assholes inherit the earth. 

Jesus Made Me Do It

I foresee a logical defense arising against the prosecution of the theocrats trying to take over our country. Jesus made them do it. As for the rich fuckers, whose creed is greed, I suppose they'll have to plead another kind of compulsion. 

What would any greedy asshole do? And everybody is greedy deep down. They're just better at it. That's what they think. They're only winners and they can't be faulted for that. Fuck the rest of us. We're just jealous. So, there. Take that. 

The Virulent Bear it Away

The contagions have combined forces against us. Fascism and the virus. Woe unto us. Fascists want to kill us. Anti-vaxxers want to kill us. Which will get there first? 

Political Seance

We're in an arena of metaphysical law now. 'Federalists' aim and mean to claim access to the immutable truth of our founding documents, the law in its platonic essence, when the whole point is to rely on an educated citizenry, political players of good faith and will, and jurists of clear conscience invested in and committed to the wellbeing of the broadest possible swath of the people of the nation. 

But, in practice, they use the high ground of moral authority to which they have laid claim, depending on an interpretation they assert not to be an interpretation at all but adherence to authority, to do whatever they want. This smells like a scam, originalism corresponding to and occupying the same mental space among them as literalism among the bible-thumpers. They are claiming revelation. 

It affords them the high ground to wreak havoc, and their literalism presents as a smokescreen to obscure the real wrenching originality of their jurisprudence, which is legislating from the bench as an article of faith and tribal submission. The spirit of the law is not just lost. It is trampled and destroyed. They fight against all the things I mention above, education, decency and an unbiased investment.

They don't care. 

They start with authoritarianism as a given and go from there. Authoritarians have to want to win. They believe that strongly in competition, excluding cooperation, but what is the law but a set of standards? Rules. And, I would say, these are not to be interpreted by biased characters, ouija board sleuths or at seances where they supposedly conjure up and commune with the ghosts of the founding fathers. 

The Hairy Plotter Series

The insurrection is coming back to Trump. Lots of byways, but all roads lead to Trump. 

Motherfucker, May I?

Mitch McConnell's new voting game for minorities is called Motherfucker May I. The minorities are all lined up in front of Mitch wanting to vote. Mitch tells them when and how to move forward, step at a time, to vote. They might have to flip or roll or crawl or whatever, depending on Mitch's instructions. 

First, however, they must say 'Motherfucker, May I?' or they return to the line and start over. In this way minorities are conditioned to withstand arbitrary authority and accept being controlled, an important civilizing influence. Of course, a lot of them will never get to vote but that's the fun of it!

Brutish Invasion

I suppose it's good Republicans are owning their inner Nazi. No more pretending to give a shit about anything but establishing their control of the government and guaranteeing continued control no matter what the public wants. Call it fascism. Call it autocracy or despotism. Call it illegitimate, which it is, or whatever you want I don't care. They certainly don't care. They think they are deserving by some arbitrary accident of birth, or some alien allegiance, so any means is justified to ensure their forever rule. 

Loving the Ruins

Okay, we're a ruin. A shadow and a vestige. We have to love our ruined selves and the crumbling institutions that once supported us. It's all we have. 

Coven to Table

The 'Overton Window' has exploded. I think I recall David Sedaris observing about an election, perhaps Bush's in '04, that, in a dining choice between shit with glass shards and chicken you can forego asking how the chicken is cooked. 

Just go with it.

Republicans are running on shit with glass shards. It's not even disguised anymore. They have professional racists like Stephen Miller and experts in governmental overthrow and demolition like Steve Bannon. They are not outliers.

They are the heart and soul of the new Republican Party. 

Hysterical Projection Increasing

Paranoid mechanisms can go from being hard to see to obvious in an instant. There's a normal resistance and surprise associated with encountering monsters in our everyday lives. Part of you is saying 'surely, no, this can't be that sick.' But, once you see it, the floodgates open and all becomes clear.

Because, the explanatory power is so strong and the mechanisms so reliable. The mechanisms work with perfect accuracy because they're unconscious. For once, their cunning fails them and the failure is revelatory. Since the advent of Trump persecutory fixations have run riot.

You'll notice how Trump and the Republicans accuse Democrats of what they themselves are doing with perfect accuracy. And they're always ahead of the game because it comes from such a deep place of denial. When a theme first emerges it will reveal what they're about to do. Not what they have planned, really, because it's entirely unconscious.

Take treason. Initially, such mentions usually show up as trial balloons among hugely disseminated sources in milder forms, such as 'betrayal' instead of 'treason,' but conservative media seems to have collapsed this so the window of acceptable slander and hysterical demonization explodes.

From my seat, where I don't consume conservative media, finding it vile, Ann Coulter always was a bellwether, an appropriate term since it initially applied to sheep. She's not only a font and volcano of contempt but a reliable guide to where conservatives are heading. 

I encourage you to look for a wedge issue that works for you. If treason is too strong look at the impeachment or Obamacare fixations or whatever, They are all revealing. Once you get away from conservative media to politicians and lawmakers, who are supposedly more reserved and controlled in their vitriol, Ted Cruz and a few others, especially his fellow theocratic conservatives, stand out. 

They think, of course, they are serving a higher master so they provide a view into this morally contagious disease. Cruz looks like Satan. He acts like Satan but, when you have a revolution to accomplish, this is a minor point. I believe if Cruz had a moment of insight, realizing he was working for the devil, he wouldn't care because he wants to bring about the 'second coming' and theocratic conservatives are so fatalistic they assume that, whatever happens, it was God's will anyway and inevitable.

You can see how the insanity works in their favor. This is so sick in its denial of human freedom, dignity and decency it's like dropping the monster from Alien into a musical. Guts everywhere. So, as I said in the beginning, normal people will resist the awareness of how demented Cruz and Coulter and their fellow travelers are. We can't afford that. Conservatives are normalizing killing their adversaries.

Also, be warned that normal people will wonder if they are guilty of this, paranoia, themselves. That's a sign you aren't. Strongish paranoid tendencies preclude any admission of weakness, responsibility or fault. Trump is such an infantile, compulsive practitioner of denial and projection it's easy to see. These are also conservative traits, rooted in a cruel, persecutory superego, weak, or nonexistent in the case of Trump, ego formation, strong reactions of disgust, and dualistic views making them despise themselves.

They can't stand that they are imperfect, mortal and corruptible, so they project all their festering, unacknowledged feelings of inadequacy onto us. And try to put a match to it. We can't ignore it and think it will go away. It won't. Not that they don't facilitate their own destruction. They always do because they push it too far, lacking normal empathy. But millions of people might get killed as it plays out.

Nazi analogies aren't inappropriate. Exaggeration? Look at their (our, since they are controlling everything) record in the Middle East and elsewhere going back decades. Carnage that could justifiably be called genocide. Immeasurable damage and no admission of guilt. All of that hate has come home. Without conflict their lives are unstable and unlivable. So, we will have conflict. With them attacking us.

Koch Injuries

I thought Charles Koch seemed a little aghast at the monster he'd created after the Capitol assault, like he did about Trump--until he realized the T-man was a loose cannon to his liking--but the franken-creature of an empowered political party completely bent on destroying its host has found a place in his heart. 

Sabotage of the government, after all, was always the point and Koch assumed it required more secrecy. But his methods have been so successful Republicans can now openly plot overthrow, by any and all means, and no one seems to be able to challenge it. 

Don't Worry, We're Fucked

I think acceptance might be the road to peace and equilibrium. Republicans have constructed a culture that punishes people with a conscience. We don't want to kill those off--our consciences--so the next best thing to taking back the culture in the name of humanity, which seems to be impossible, is probably resignation. Acceptance of our fate. No wonder stoicism is a topic in some circles. Endurance and equanimity might be the way to go in the face of the end times Republicans have in store for us.