The Diabolical Awards

I've become aware there are clandestine awards in the White House for excellence in lying. I think they're weekly but they might be monthly or bi- but not that kind of bi- since they're against that kind on paper and in principle but who knows what they do when we're not looking. My understanding is that Kayleigh McEnany -- no, sorry, that's the old one -- Karoline Leavitt is disqualified from competing because it's formally her job to lie so that would be unfair. Anyway they're called the Diabolical Awards.

And the winner the 'diabolos' for that period. I assume diabolos because 'devil' was a little too direct. The details are unknown to me but we can assume they have some fun with it the way secret societies usually do, festivities and adornments and regalia and maybe a little fun-poking and food and noshes and maybe steaks and shit -- I mean these are Republicans. I picture Stephen Miller as permanent emcee so he's likely disqualified as well apart from everybody being scared as shit of him. Jeez, he's a creep. 

I assume they work it out with handicaps or whatever for the rest whose jobs involve varying degrees of necessary falsification. Of course Trump is disqualified because he's absolutely the greatest at everything he does and would win every time as at golf if he were allowed to be considered, 'compete' not being the applicable term because Trump does everything at such an insanely high level and so effortlessly and without even paying attention, just as with his innumerable business deals and successes. 

This award is like the 'salesman of the month' thing you see with some goober on a plaque at a car dealership but one would hope with more taste and gravitas in some form. The taste thing is a bit fluid now though they still turn out in suits and dresses as an informal uniform but it's hard to dodge the issue of Trump's appalling taste. Republicans make up for any possible propriety gaps with sheer compliance which makes the awards interesting because of the interplay of utter submission and inventiveness. 

I'll report more on this later if my source doesn't get discovered and eliminated, I hope with some specifics about awardees and how they get roasted as part of the proceedings and what they do if the reigning diabolos falls out of favor with Trump over an unintended slight. NOBODY deliberately crosses Herr Donald these days. Keep in mind all those subtle and not-so- messages intended as intimidation apply in-house as well and they're all scared as shit all the time which is thought to enhance creativity.