Waffenpoofs

J. D. Vance is forming an a cappella group of Yale Republicans, my sources say, called the Waffenpoofs. The idea, of course, is to own and irritate liberals. That is all they care about. It has been established that their long-touted 'conservative values' such as the rule of law and fiscal sanity are a sham and front for a huge power grab devoid of any decency and fair play. Still, they have managed to wrest control of our society and skew it unrecognizably to the right so they are in a festive and celebratory mood though our sitting president is the epitome of evil and the Senate somewhat screwed up. 

So, an a cappella group of 14 (a traditional number) with Yale connections and solid nutcase credentials is in the works. They will all be slung with assault rifles (hence the clever 'waffen' prefix) and might shoot up the audience at any time, a reminder that life is short (and getting shorter in America) and that one should strive to have principles and vote Republican not that these are in any way consistent but that's authoritarianism for you. The repertoire will of course extol the deeds of their idols, like Iran-Contra, starting the Iraq War and causing the '08 financial collapse with deregulation.  

With a lot of spin, no doubt, since these were catastrophes. Most of the songs, however, will ridicule Democrats and be rife with suggestive language and innuendo about how they are traitors and deserve to be killed, but that is normal Republican fare as part of their effort to uphold standards. Do they have nothing better to do, you ask, than defiling a light-hearted and innocent pastime? The answer is no. They live to own the libs. And they are bitter. At places like Yale it's assumed there's a link between being smart and being a Democrat and liberal and rational and caring and tolerant. 

What presumption! Sadly, Stewart Rhodes will not be in on it since he's in jail for trying to overthrow the government. But Steve Mnuchin and Wilber Ross are on board. John Bolton and Ben Carson are considering it. None of these people can sing but neither did they have any business as civil servants as they showed in the Trump fiasco. They have only enormous drives to advance themselves at any expense to other people, and ideally at the expense of other people, the guiding ethos of Trump's life. Josh Hawley, another fresh face and avowed theocratic crank, will lead the chorus along with Vance.