Take Me to the Riviera

I need to get away. Republican assholes are gearing up for another, maybe final, assault on our democracy. I don't want to witness it. There are too many of them. Even if we win we don't really win. We only forestall disaster because their determination and perseverance are exceptional. The assholes will have their way. 

The Hillsdale Truth and Record

This is the (satirical/spoof) official reportage and record of the Hillsdale College of Hillsdale, Michigan where we revere the truth above all else and the sayings and insults of Chairman Donald which we carry around in little books in our pockets. Such is our commitment that we explore minutiae of transgression like the appropriateness of pussy-grabbing on the Sabbath. Is this holy, we ask, in the right context and at the right time or less than holy so that should it be avoided on the Sabbath? 

We tell you this so you know how sincere we are. We are not splitting hairs but chopping wood and doing the hard work of trying to lead moral, Christian lives while emulating our inspiration and role model, Chairman Donald, whose accomplishments we respect beyond all measure what with all the money and righteous appointments to the Supreme Court such as fellow pussy-grabber traveler Bret Kavanaugh and then submissive cultist Amy Coney Barrett. What models of rectitude! 

Not the kind of rectitude Bret and Chairman Donald must have exhibited as part of their pussy-grabbing efforts, meaning they must have had a hard-on. Ha! We got you there, didn't we. That goes to show we have a sense of humor. We are far from up-tight. We intend to change the world and you can't do that if you can't relate to people and have a little fun. And nothing is more fun than making money, by the way, which we embrace as a part of our mission. What's wrong with money? 

In the hands of true Christians and followers of Chairman Donald it can only be holy and true. We mean to have influence in the establishment of a blessed, theocratic state, eventually to embrace the world, and that costs money. It's not our fault if some of you don't understand that you belong to Jesus and not yourselves but this is a common misconception that we can and will fix, not to put too fine a point on it. This is why any government not run on God's principles is illegitimate and invalid.

Don't worry about it. Think of Chick-fil-A. Everything will be like that, very tidy, but we'll be able to keep the gays in the closet again where they belong. 

'By the people and for the people.' Pshaw! It is 'by God and for God' or it is heretical and an insult to the Creator. Goodbye for now, but we will be back with more important news in the Truth and Record. And remember that God loves you if not as much as us and Chairman Donald and all his children since we are already saved and you might not be. Though, we will bring you around one way or another. God bless!

Ticket to Riot

What kind of a riot isn't somewhat spontaneous? You don't get a ticket to riot. You show up. You start raising hell. Whatever happens from there it is what it is. 

But somebody is issuing tickets to riot. So, the rioters are part of a larger plan. A plan of governmental overthrow engineered by Republicans and their oligarchic masters. 

Winner Fake All

Our winners are all fakes. Winning in a false system of rewards is always false itself. 

The Golden Ass

Trump deserves a picaresque novel about his wanderings, musings, efforts, and explorations of boundaries. He's just a boy with a dream and a huge inheritance finding his way in the world. So what if some people get killed or have their lives destroyed. It's all a part of the natural process of Trump trying to grow up. 

I Went to Waterboarding School

As an observer at a distance, mind you, but it's clearly the way to get at the truth of the Trump election debacle, to see if proponents of the stolen election theory believe their own bullshit.

And He Was

I want you to picture the Talking Heads song And She Was adapted for Trump. In it he rises above the world on gasbag principles of flotation. He cruises like a blimp or dirigible, scanning the lesser beings below him and emanating shits and farts which the lower beings must endure and clean up. The shit is raining down. He eventually crashes, to cries of 'oh, the humanity.'

Bringing Home the Bacon

Right-wing reactionaries have positioned themselves to impose their will on the rest of us. They are doing so now, having always known what they intended and would do but they keep up a shallow pretense of respecting the law. But they're there, on the Supreme Court for example, to bring home the bacon. It's facon, though, because they're just making stuff up. They know what they will do. Only the justifications and rationalizations are up for grabs. 

Lindsey, Thank You, Sir

Lindsey Graham has done it. And it had to be a Republican or it wouldn't have worked. No Democrat could get away with it. Lindsey suggested someone be assassinated. Vladimir Putin, if you want to know. 

But I have had such a long list. 

And Lindsey is on it. A list of people who should be assassinated. Who deserve to be assassinated. Who earned it. All Republicans. And, by any reasonable standard, they're much more worthy than Vlad. 

By any normal legal or ethical standard a bunch of Republicans deserve to be shot. 

Whig or Tory?

All Republican candidates for office should be required to declare if they are Whig or Tory. We know, from their fealty to candidate Trump, they are monarchists of one sort. But are they in favor of absolute or constitutional monarchy? The people have a right to know. 

The Devious Anna Delvey

Anna Delvey exposed how hollow the meritocracy is. And, how alike it is to revivalism. The 'chosen' choose themselves. They then market the idea it was innate qualities that enabled their conversion. It was God's will. It was necessary, inevitable and natural they should be on top. 

They are the winners. 

In other words, it's tautological. It has no meaning, a blind assertion of faith. Fatalism. The moral of the story: character matters. But not to them. Anna showed how little they have. Claim to have money and everything will come to you. There's a shortage of character among the meritocrats. 

But no shortage of money.

Whale Bait

Donald Trump won't stop. America needs a guarantee he can't be in a position again where he can get a lot of people killed. Because he'll do it if it suits him. He doesn't care.

How do we bait Herr Donald to get him in enough trouble to rule out another run at world power? He's resistant to most things, having plied the criminal trades for decades. 

I don't know. His whole thing is to ensure the rules don't apply to him. Flattery and servility most suit him. He needs admirers and wants them completely degraded. 

We probably have to work through that.