White Women

White women, I want a divorce. Have the complaint right here. Treason. Infidelity. Disorderly Conduct. Irregularity. Default. Obfuscation. Embezzlement. Unpredictability. Infringement. Fraternization. Obstruction. Truancy. Alienation and Affectation. Promiscuity. Callousness. Excessive use of Force. Heterophobia. Failure to Yield. Going Right and Red. Sleeping at the Wheel and on the Job and with the Enemy. Snoring. It's all there. Civil, Criminal, Custodial. White collar, Blue collar, Clerical, Eton, Nehru. I'm throwing the book. You hurt my feelings. And, by the way, I want full custody of Junior, the Democratic Party.

You lost me, girls--man, that feels good--when you voted for what's-his-ass, a known mass-murderer and war criminal, in '04. Thirty years or so of hearing how you were the good guys and then that. Girls is good, boys is bad. Guilty until proven innocent, if you're a guy. I'll admit it, we screwed up. What with interminable wars and the Holocaust and other mishaps. And you said, and I believed, that it was a guy thing. Testosterone. So you not only didn't get the job done you invalidated that argument and implicated yourselves in the whole history of human grief. Lysistrata, righteous girl, where are you now?

Okay I'm trying to understand it. Maybe you wanted to mother him. After all he was pretty arrested. As in he wasn't toilet-trained. His whole life he just shit on everything. And they'd come riding in on their horses, James Baker and the Texas ass-wipes, toilet paper streaming, and clean him up and put him back on his feet. Anyway that last time, I mean, there wasn't enough toilet paper in Texas. He shit the whole world. They tried. There was that panel or committee, bi-partisan, and James Baker was on it. Got ignored. Pivotal moment. The music wells up in the movie version. He's ready for Wheaties. He knows he's a man. What dwama.

I don't think that was it. It doesn't ring right. I think you bought the machismo. But it was fake. Just some frat boy stuck in a cave in developmental and evolutionary time. You need to make it right. To start with you need to go global, galactic, whole-hog, big picture. Maybe intergalactic, the full Douglas Adams. Blow it open. Stop talking about women's issues and the vajayjays. Too parochial, especially that last one. Americans don't want to hear it. They're tired of it. Offends the sense of who we are. Talk about the country, the planet, freedom, democracy, justice, fate, destiny, sin and redemption, profit and loss. The whole, huge enchilada. Strange, the dems really are individualists, and they talk constantly about their beloved groups and narrow issues. And the other side, they're all about their virtual plantation or country club, selfish as hell, and they talk about freedom, fairness, democracy. Oh, inverted world. It won't matter. If we can win we'll just do what we want, women's issues and all. That's what they do. They just do all the wrong stuff.

Damn, that "we" word. I forgot, we are separated. Shit! Hard to avoid. Oh, well. I guess you're still kind of family. Black women been saving your white asses, by the way. Righteous voters if ever there were. Make the statistics look way better on the women's front. Black people as well, too parochial. All about the black stuff. But they get a pass. They were so screwed for so long and so insidiously. Still are. At least they vote Democratic. You think the black guys would be in prison if the white boys didn't want them there? Come on. They're concentration camps. And the white boys, they're privatizing the thing. Going to make money on it. Our despised tax dollars into their pockets. Republican pockets. And that's the tip of a very big iceberg.

They hate welfare but love prisons. I don't have much in the way of illusions about welfare but it beats prisons, and jobs beats all. No such thing as bad jobs just bad pay, that's what I think. So all the black guys get jobs. Public works, post office, whatever. When all this got started, affirmative action and such, I wanted to get straight, get honest about it and, let's say, turn the post office over to black people. Don't fire anybody, just hire only black people. Why not? Makes as much sense as anything. And UPS. Wait, we don't own that. But the black guys look great in those uniforms.

So I guess, to be fair, we make sure all the black women have jobs as well, with decent pay. And the unemployed whites. EUREKA! Jobs for everybody. Copyright. Patent Pending. Am I thinking straight? Can't be that simple. Follow that line of reasoning back for me, will you. You say Paul Krugman was sitting there in a wing chair? Who's that heckler? Rush? He says there's not enough money? Well, he's got plenty. What did he ever contribute? And that's a big fat idiot's lying liar's lie. There's tons of money. Pallets. Like what they littered on Iraq. Our huge inheritence, built up over generations by Americans who actually got stuff done. They want to spend it on their pet project, the Cheneyfeld Memorial Maginot Defense Initiative/Corporate Feeding Trough, a massive sink-hole, and enriching people who don't contribute shit. Your money, our money, what's left of it.

Anyway, that was the WWII plan, as far as ending the Great Depression, employ everybody. I don't think we need a war to do that, white boys, and it worked good. Everything was better for everybody. Find fault with that, morons. Sorry, that was mean. We really are all in this together. But it's so wearing, sometimes, trying to talk sense, a lonely voice in the black forests of the Boehnerites. A little guy in the tatters of his health care, at the soaring walls of the citadel of Rove's Reich.  I'm tempted to hitch a ride off the planet, with Zooey Deschanel. Oh, I bet she's got a guy. There's a couple women out there, though, been on my radar. Oh, darn. Those white women. I like them. I can't help it. Let's see if we can get it done. Together.